( keep holding on )

[chemistryinmotion]

Hey, dude.

I know you can't read this or see this or even think about the possibility of this even existing, and I don't even really know why I'm writing it. I just don't really want to talk to anyone and this seemed like a good idea.

I don't really know where to start, though.

I know you're gone. It's just like last time. You know, which is a lot closer to me than it is to anyone else. Time relativity and all that.

I know the signs. Your picture isn't in the phones, it's like you completely disappeared without a trace. Which... yeah, I guess you did. I'm trying to pretend I'm okay with that. I'm not going to do anything stupid like last time, don't worry. Though I guess that really depends on your definition of "stupid." I'm not gonna run myself ragged, if that's what you mean.

I don't even know what you mean. You're not here.

And that's the problem, dude.

You left.

I know it's not fair to blame you. It's not your fault. I know that. It's... Yao's fault. It's this whole stupid place.

I know I should be happy. But I'm not. How can I be? You're gone. Right when I needed you. The most.

But let's be honest. I always need you. I don't know what to do without you, dude.

I don't even know what the point of this is anymore. I don't think it's helping.

I just want you to come back. But that's not fair, either.

I don't know what I want. I just don't know if I can do this without you. ▐

Are you sure you want to delete this entry?
> OK