chemistryinmotion: (sadsium)
Hey, dude.

I know you can't read this or see this or even think about the possibility of this even existing, and I don't even really know why I'm writing it. I just don't really want to talk to anyone and this seemed like a good idea.

I don't really know where to start, though.

I know you're gone. It's just like last time. You know, which is a lot closer to me than it is to anyone else. Time relativity and all that.

I know the signs. Your picture isn't in the phones, it's like you completely disappeared without a trace. Which... yeah, I guess you did. I'm trying to pretend I'm okay with that. I'm not going to do anything stupid like last time, don't worry. Though I guess that really depends on your definition of "stupid." I'm not gonna run myself ragged, if that's what you mean.

I don't even know what you mean. You're not here.

And that's the problem, dude.

You left.

I know it's not fair to blame you. It's not your fault. I know that. It's... Yao's fault. It's this whole stupid place.

I know I should be happy. But I'm not. How can I be? You're gone. Right when I needed you. The most.

But let's be honest. I always need you. I don't know what to do without you, dude.

I don't even know what the point of this is anymore. I don't think it's helping.

I just want you to come back. But that's not fair, either.

I don't know what I want. I just don't know if I can do this without you.

Are you sure you want to delete this entry?
> OK
chemistryinmotion: (zirconium)

Hey, dude.

I know we said we'd never abandon each other, that we'd always have each other's backs, and if we were gonna go out, we'd go out together... but I guess I couldn't hold up my end of the deal. Because, well, if you're reading this... you know what that means. I'm probably not in Johto anymore. Or, at least, I hope I'm not. It'd be kind of awkward and defeat the whole purpose of this letter if you're reading it while I'm still here, but anyway, I guess I just wanted you to have this. Something more than just an empty bedroom, a disconnected number, and my Pokemon making sad faces at you. With everything you've gone through here, you deserve at least that.

There's not really anything I can say to make it hurt any less, but you'll be okay. Without me, I mean. You'll hopefully still have Conner and Megan, Katara, Danny, and everyone else, and they'll look out for you. I know you can look out for yourself being a Bat and all, but I needed a lot more looking out for than I realized, so just let them be there for you while I'm gone. No moping. I won't be around for any more 3 AM feelings pow-wows, but I'm sure someone'll be around who wants to listen, if you'll open up to them. Obviously I'm irreplaceable as your best friend and confidant, but that doesn't mean you have to shut everything in, either.

And, just for the record, Katara's a great listener. Maybe Conner and Megan would be better in this situation just because they know both of us better, but I kind of told Katara everything while you were out memory updating. About us. Our whole Johto history, because I needed to tell someone and I didn't have anyone else and I didn't want to risk it making things weird between the team. So she's up to speed, if that's the kind of thing you want or need to talk about...

I know I'll just forget all of this when I go back home, and the Robin there won't really be the same, and all the circumstances that got us to this point and these feelings won't have ever happened, but there won't be a Midori there, either, I won't even know she exists, so... I don't know, maybe things will be different. I can't make any promises, obviously, not knowing what the future holds and all, but even if we don't end up together, you'll always be my best friend. That I can promise.

I mean, I love you, man, and... I hope you can forgive me for disappearing. Not that I really have a choice, but still. It sucks. And this was the only way I could think of to say goodbye. Be strong, dude, you'll pull through. And, who knows, maybe I'll be back one day. You don't wait up for me, though. Go find a nice girl to kiss, you'll probably like it—she definitely will.

Just... be happy.



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wally west ( ⚡ ) kid flash

April 2014

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