chemistryinmotion | ( voicemail )

[Wally's attempt at changing back the subject is hard to miss, but if he doesn't want to talk about it, then Fujimaru won't press him. The question's still in his head, but it's the same as Wally told him back then: if he wants to talk about it, then Fujimaru will be there to listen.

Until then...]

... I just wanted to ask a question—to get a second opinion on something.

[It's his turn to force himself into sounding composed when he isn't. Like this is a perfectly innocent question and the wrong answer won't turn him into more of a wreck than he already is.

... Though the fact that he's even asking for someone else's opinion instead of just dealing with it on his own might already be a sign of how desperate he is.]

The only way to end up in this place—aside from being a local, that is—is to be abducted, right?

[ wally thinks it's kind of a weird question, but as far as he knows... that's the only way. he tries to think of any other instances where it hasn't been the case, but all he can think of is haven messing with your head. and after all the shit with kite? yeah, he's pretty certain if fujimaru was seeing people he knew, they were likely just hallucinations. ]

Uh. Yeah... as far as I know. [ he's hesitant to ask, but... ] Why?

[Fujimaru's quiet for a few moments, both to try and figure out an answer and to let the pain in his chest fade. Honestly, the healing abilities of the people here are pretty remarkable, but he's not quite yet entirely okay.

"As far as I know." Not really a comforting answer, since Fujimaru gets the feeling that most people aren't a) from a post-apocalyptic world run by a dictatorship with scientists who have no regard for human life, and b) unfortunately well-acquainted with (the tool of) the head of said dictatorship. Again, it's unlikely that the Yao Corporation would have any connection with the Tokyo city government; the problem is that it's not impossible.

Then there's Wally's question: why? It's not like Fujimaru's circumstances are a secret, given that enough people back home know, but he's not sure how comfortable he is with talking about them—or that he won't fall apart again if he keeps thinking about this.

And so, this time, Fujimaru's voice isn't as calm as he'd like for it to be, as he's really not as together as he'd like to be.]

... It just has to do with some things that Kite said.

[Really, that sounds pathetic even to him. He should let this go (even if he can't).]

—Forget it. It's just a bunch of crap anyway. [albeit a "bunch of crap" that nearly drove him to killing himself back then.] I won't waste your time.

Edited 2014-04-18 02:57 (UTC)

[ okay, yeah, no. there's no way you're getting off that easily, fujimaru. you're the one who called him, so he's not about to just let you go with a shitty excuse like "it's just a bunch of crap." he might not be a therapist, but he's your friend, and clearly there's something bothering you. ]

You really think this is wasting my time? [ nah, this is a legitimate concern a friend has and decided to talk to him about it. wasting his time is captain cold trying to pull another unsuccessful heist. ] You obviously don't know me very well. [ which... okay, technically, is true. but that's not the point. ] Look, you called me, so just spill. Kite said a lot of stuff to a lot of people, true or not. It's not just "a bunch of crap." Or, even if it is, we're all dealing with it. So we might as well deal with it together. [ even if he doesn't actually want to deal with it, fujimaru came to him to talk about it so. ] Talk to me, dude.

[Easier said than done. Even if Wally says to talk, Fujimaru doesn't have much experience with this kind of thing. Most of the people he's known in life either already knew about his circumstances or just didn't care.

... But Wally's right (even if Fujimaru is loathe to admit that he's ever right)—Fujimaru did call him. And though he's not sure whether he simply wanted assurances or the actual truth, the latter of which would require 'talking'... honestly, it's driving him a bit crazy, trying to figure this out on his own.

There's a long silence, to the point where it's questionable if Fujimaru is even there anymore, before he hesitantly speaks.]

... Geez, you're as forceful as ever. [...] It's a long story, but the short version is that he told me that I was... sold to him. [a pause, before he adds—] It's unlikely either way, but back home, I'm... You could say that I'm in a situation that makes it more plausible than for most.

That's it.

[The last bit—that's it— is for Wally's sake: so that he can back out at this point. Again, Fujimaru has no desire to unload all of his problems onto him if he's only putting up with them out of pity.]

[ fujimaru can probably hear the raise of wally's eyebrows in his voice. there's something not quite settling right with the way fujimaru just says "that's it." he normally hates pushing issues with people, but if they're going to talk, they're going to talk. ]

That's it? Doesn't sound like that's it. I mean, I don't need all the gruesome details, but it might help if I understood the situation a little better. Either way, though, it sounds to me like he was just messing with your head. They brought us here, all of us the same way. For a while I thought maybe Yao had contacts with people from back home, but as far as I can tell, how we got here is totally irrelevant to whatever was happening back home.

... Yeah. You're right. You're right...

[Logically, Fujimaru knows that. And desperately, he wants to believe that as well.

Because if the old hag really did sell him here, then that means he was caught back home. That means Ken was likely killed for treason—for assisting a traitor like him. And if that's the case—if all that's waiting for Fujimaru back home is a world where his best friend died because of him and where he's a prisoner again—then there's nothing left back there. He'd rather stay in Haven for the rest of his life.

His voice isn't as steady as he'd like it to be, and in all honesty, it's still awkward for him to be talking this much about things, but...]

It's just... Shirayuki and I come from a place pretty similar to this. Tokyo's a wasteland, isolated from the rest of the world, and the city government's... well, standard dictatorship fare, basically. The old hag—the governor—and the other doctors would probably get along great with Kite.

... So a lot of things about Haven hit close to home, I guess. [and it's why he's perhaps overreacting over the things Kite said, even though he knows they likely aren't true.]

[ wally's actually fairly surprised fujimaru is giving him any details about where he comes from, but it makes him feel a little better about... everything that fujimaru is actually kind of opening up to him. it also hurts a little more than it probably should — now he knows who fujimaru was talking about when he'd encountered him while he was still possessed. he's not sure which is worse, fujimaru hallucinating an evil dictator from home who sounds like she's put him through a lot of shit already coming back for seconds or... actually knowing it was wally torturing him the whole time. ]

But you've also got us. [ you've got me. ] I mean, that's gotta make things at least a little better, having some kind of support group. And despite everything... you are away from home. That old hag can't touch you anymore. [ the way he says old hag sounds slightly pained, only because he knows he was that old hag for fujimaru the last time they met, and just as she can't hurt him anymore, neither can he. ] Though I'm not sure if Kite's better or worse...

[Fujimaru's never had to confide in others before. Up until a day or so before waking up in Haven, there was only one person that he might've been willing to confess anything to, and Ken already knows everything about him, knows him as well as he knows himself.

But there's something about Wally that makes him want to spill everything. About Kuroyuki, about all the screw-ups that he's made and the crimes that he's committed—about how though he believes now that he'll never repeat his mistakes and work for the Yao Corporation, a small part of him reminds him how stupidly weak he is, so how can he guarantee anything?

Sometimes, even though Fujimaru's still too cynical to believe in 'heroes,' he thinks that Wally must have the hardest job in the world, because how could anyone constantly try to do what's right and not fall apart?

(And this is why, in the end, he probably doesn't deserve a friend like Wally.)

... This would all be so much easier if Wally weren't so damn nice.]

[Fujimaru's silent for a while—long enough that it wouldn't be surprising for Wally to wonder if he's even still there—before Fujimaru remembers that right, he's still in a conversation with him.

Taking a few moments to find his voice again—]

... Better. For me, at least, and maybe Shirayuki, though I don't know what he did to her. That said... maybe I've just dealt with way too many doctors, but in the end, the guy's just another bastard.

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